Every year about this time I create space to spend time to review the year that almost was and plan the one yet to come. I begin with how I want to feel as I move throughout the year. I am a big fan of the Desire Map process (Danielle Laporte). Choose the feeling words for how you want to feel and then engineer goals from there. Each year I look at last years words and evaluate how I did at feeling that way and choose how I want to feel followed by goals that are in alignment with attracting those feelings.
Last year, truth be told, I didn’t do so great at staying in line with my desired feelings and got a little wrapped up in the tactical and the needs of others. It is always good to look back at what worked, what didn’t, and what you would do if you had a do over. This helps create a path to integrate the learning and create new standards for how you operate.
If you just take the learning without creating a path to applying it you don’t gain true wisdom from the experience.
In looking at what didn’t work this year. I gave a way a lot of time to things that did not move me closer to goals or me desired feelings. I spread myself across more projects and contract clients than I should have when I could have done less better. As ‘The Balance Maven’ my own personal balance experience is important to me. Truth be told, you cannot authentically lead someone to a place you have never been so I am always pushing the envelope on my own boundaries. It makes me better and that experience gets passed on to my clients.
In the coming year I plan to get back to focusing on how I want to feel, serving in ways that have a greater impact on others and that fill me up vs drain me out.
How do you want to feel in the coming year?
Where do you want to go in your life and business?
Last week I met with my business mastermind, who also happen to have become my dearest friends, to think bigger and then create the strategy that delivers on those very endeavors. Bigger visibility my way, my voice, my ‘Soapbox’. Wholeheartedly authentically without apology. MORE REAL and doing it all in less time than I was doing it before so I can have more space to meet the growing needs of my family.
It is amazing to do this planning with people who have a sharp business acumen, big and fiercely loving hearts, with no bullshi, real talk, and a crap ton of fun. You have to take a hard objective look at the year and all its successes and failures. You have to do it with people who will see you bigger than you see yourself and help you reverse engineer the plan that will take you there step by step. Having the knowledge of what you will achieve is one thing…a solid application of that knowledge is entirely another, and the most important part. Having accountability from a mentor or tribe is the secret sauce to reaching your destination. I feel like my crew would piggy back me if necessary. There is no better feeling than having people that you can count on thick and thin, good times and bad rain or shine.
Who are your people?
How will you plan next year?
Start with who you look up to. Who has things to say that resonate with you?
If you need help please comment below drop us a message or find us on Facebook Messenger!
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Welcome back to ‘The Soapbox’! Anyone feel that the 4th quarter doldrums can be a hard time to meet your financial goals?
There are a lot of ‘reasons’ why people may decline or delay engaging in services that will make a meaningful difference in their business or life at the end of the year. Often they lead with the ‘money’ reason. Sometimes it’s the ‘time’ challenge due to holiday chaos, and other times it is what I like to call the ‘Scarlett O’Hara’…”I’ll think of it tomorrow, After all, tomorrow is another day!” (Everyone has seen Gone With The Wind right!?!?!?) They are just trying to ‘get through’ the end of the year and tell themselves they will make these kind of ‘growth’ decisions and investments after 1st of year.
Some business owners have had some experiences that makes them believe there is something different about the 4th quarter. It is so easy to tell a story that because ‘xyz’ (insert holiday spending, pending tax bills, low customer engagement etc) the 4th quarter is always slow. It can become habit each passing year to not invite as many people to the conversation as, “They aren’t going to say yes during this time of year anyway.” I invite you to consider this may not be real and it is a construct or story that you or your industry have bought into.
It can be hard to find the pain point that ideal clients and customers want to avoid enough to get them to move forward for their highest and greatest good…even in the face of a story. If we are to serve, we have to be careful not to buy into their story or ‘reasons’ that may really be excuses that they aren’t even aware of. We have to hold their greatest potential at the forefront and help them get out of their stories.
How do we do that you ask? It is a blend of mindset and strategy.
We have to help them find greater benefit and value in taking action than staying where they are. You have to show your leads and prospects WHY taking action now is in their best interest. However, before that, YOU have to ask yourself what stories YOU might be telling about THEM and why they are not buying. You cannot come to the table with limiting beliefs or your own head trash. You cannot diagnose their pocket book. Your mind and heart have to be open and clear. YOU have to believe at your core in any of the solutions that you are going to propose to them. You have to know beyond a shadow of a doubt that them taking action with you NOW, not later is in their best interest and lead them through their excuses toward action on their behalf.
PLEASE NOTE: This is not a BS game of manipulation. Super powers are only meant to be used for good.
You have to know that helping them navigate their fear and ‘reasons’ is truly in their best interest. To them the reasons feel real. They do not feel like excuses. They do not see how they are holding them back. It is a delicate dance to awareness with them.
Let’s walk through a few of the most common objections that we find in the 4th quarter.
“I don’t have the money.” There are many reasons for this expression. Your prospective customer and clients may not have had a fruitful first three quarters, work may be seasonal, they may be falling prey to the same ‘reasons’ from their own clients, living in fear and anticipation of a large tax bill they need to conserve for, holiday spending/travel etc…..the list goes on. How can engaging with you or your organization increase cash flow and ease the burden of these reasons? The money roadblock is simply a value proposition. People find money for the things they value. Not having money is often a case of “I don’t yet see value or why I should prioritize that’.
“I don’t have time with all of the end of year activities and holiday plans.” What do you offer that allows them to get time back in their day and be more strategic or efficient? How will delays in action delay their results? Can the deliciousness of those results create a large enough impact to tempt them away from the desire to delay. Can you show them the juice is worth the squeeze? This roadblock is a direct result of no sense of urgency. What you offer has to be so tantalizing that it draws such a gap between where they are and where they want to be that it makes where they want to be more irresistible than the comfort of staying still.
“Just need to get through the end of the year” (signs that they feel to stressed to make any decisions).
What will working with you bring to their world that alleviates stress, reduces overwhelm and gains clarity. What can you help them do now that makes an impact before end of year, but just as, if not more, importantly set them up for a great start at the beginning of the year. Too often people wait until beginning of year to take massive action and create change. Ahem….New Year’s Resolutions anyone? As a result they may not see the fruits of their labor until closer to end of the 1st quarter. Taking action in the 4th quarter ensures that they begin the year with these results vs waiting for them. They need to know this is not going to add to their burden, but alleviate it.
YOU have the power to improve your 4th quarter conversations and sales no matter what your previous history dictates, no matter what your industry has previously claimed, no matter what any of your peers say or the stories that have been told in the past. The past is the past and has already happened. The 4th quarter, however is here and now and you CAN have different experiences or results than what you have previously known. You can tell a new story and help your prospective clients and customers do the same so you ALL have a banging end to the year and set next year up to be the best year ever!
If you would like help with a specific objection and need verbiage or help through the mindset and stories you tell that are keeping you from reaching YOUR year end goals, comment below or reach out on Facebook via messenger! We love to hear from you and give you some tips or hacks to ease the struggle. If you don’t struggle in quarter 4 and it’s your best ever we want to hear your success stories too! Tell us all your secrets!
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Your fantastic FIVE…or your flat tire five?
We have all heard it…”You are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with.
I personally believe there to be a lot of truth in it. I recently spent a lot of time thinking about this over a weekend as I was at the family farm.
It all began with dropping my kid at the airport to go on a medical internship to Poland. I’ll write another post on all the shit that goes through your mind sending an inexperienced flyer and your first born to another country for two weeks and what you learn around that at a later date. In the meantime, read on.
It was harvest, so I took a little detour to the family farm vs going back home. It is rare that I hit harvest when I am free and while there is still cutting to be done. I hadn’t done so in more years than I can count…probably since before I had kids to be honest (EEK). It was always my favorite time of year: meals in the field, playing in the wheat, getting suckers at the grain elevator. This year there were a lot of breakdowns so we weren’t cutting wheat when I got there.
I don’t have the skills to ‘fix your grill’ let alone a combine, so I spent the day shadowing an old pal in his work.
It was a lot of driving, talking, checking cows and water, talking, opening gates, talking. You get the idea. I just rode along, looking pretty and being entertained. It was pretty great, and yet (like always) my brain was processing the whole experience from beyond just being present in the moment(s).
What I learned was:
There are people who get you.
There are people who love to just have a back and forth exchange and don’t lose interest in 5 minutes.
They truly care about your thoughts.
They enjoy meaningful conversation …not just small minded small talk about people.
They aren’t afraid to challenge thoughts and feelings and make you look deeper without some hidden agenda of making you see things their way, but rather just plain curiosity.
They make you laugh.
They know when to shut up.
They can handle silence without needing to fill every single space.
They hear your story without judgment and with compassion..even the really shitty parts and just hold space, no need to offer comment or solution, just bearing witness.
They feel like ‘home’.
There are no replacements for people you have known for what seems like forever and yet sometimes if, in business or the driven high achiever world, we are always asked to evaluate these relationships and be on the constant upgrade. We are asked to measure them, quantify them, and always choose better people or risk being left behind in your success or greatest potential.
Danielle Laporte suggests that:
“There’s a shadow to the “5 people rule”. it can make us transactional… strands of usery can find their way into the connection, tinges of envious cloying. And in that dynamic, real love will struggle to grow.”
I find there to be immense truth in this. I always to strive to be a person people feel enriches and adds value to the lives of those around me. But the reality is, sometimes my shit stinks and I’m not ‘worthy’. I am not the best version of myself and could be categorized as a person that isn’t elevating my peers to be their highest and greatest self just by being in my presence. Sometimes life is sledgehammer fucking hard for a whole season, not just a passing minute. How would it feel if I got marked off the list or left behind because of it?
She is right, it can be transactional if we aren’t careful.
There have been seasons of my life that I was in hiding because things were just hard and it felt too peopley out there. The risk of judgment was high (as if you weren’t already in judgment of yourself). There were always a few (that felt like many) people that couldn’t handle it WITH me. They just didn’t know why I couldn’t ‘just reach for the better feeling thought’, or ‘change my story’, or all the other self help and spiritual stuff that we sometimes get (and give) in crisis. Don’t get me wrong, I love that shit like it’s my single only job, and sometimes its simply not enough. I felt unfit for public consumption. I felt afraid that if I shared my deepest truths I would be further judged or worse….categorized as one of those people that is ‘dragging you down’ and kicked off the ‘the list’. So I hid during times when I needed my tribe the most.
We simply have to respect the seasons. It’s not going to be juicy and delicious all of the time, smelling like roses, glowing like moonbeams and rainbows with unicorns and sparkles everywhere you go.
Sometimes its dark and twisty and your mindset suffers and life and business feel like a giant black hole sucking the life out of you. You need your tribe more than ever to pull you out.
THAT is when you truly know if you are surrounded by the right people. Do they love you through the tough times? Do they see your light even when you can’t? Do they lovingly kick your ass when that’s what you most need without apology for holding you to your highest code of conduct? Can they offer you a soft place to land and bear witness to the struggle with deep faith and trust that when it’s their turn you will do the same for them?
THOSE are your people.
Who are YOUR people?
I am so blessed to have friends and colleagues old and new. The old ones keep me around no matter what and stand by in the brightest of lights and the darkest of twists. The new see the potential and hold me steadfast to the goals and challenge me to think bigger (thanks BAMF).
Find your people. BE the people you want to surround yourself with…and hold a heart of compassion for the rough spots with grace not just with others but for yourself too.
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So today I am going to get ‘personal’ which equates to vulnerable. Vulnerability is something I am always working on. Demonstrate it, show it, be it. It is a spectrum of mastery. I am nowhere near the ‘mastery’ state. As business owners, we struggle with a host of different confidence levels in a host of different areas in which we work and play. How you feel about yourself and how you take care of yourself have an enormous impact on how you show up in your business and the amount of visibility you will demonstrate with your chosen tribe of people you wish to serve.
I choose to serve busyaholic entrepreneurs. Why? Because I have been one and understand the struggle. I have been ‘one of my people’ and sometimes I still AM one of my people with regard to the struggle. I like to ‘push the envelope’ as they say. It is harder than it looks to find balance in all things, especially when you LOOOOVE to work. I LOVE what I do so much. In fact, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between working and playing.
Alas, sometimes I am a walking paradox….
I know that life rules say you need 8 hours of sleep a night. Say what?! That can cut into my productivity time.
I am intentional about not treating my body like a trash can…and sometimes I eat 4 cupcakes from The Cupcakery in a sitting.
I am aware of the level of exercise my body likes to have and sometimes, instead of exercise, I choose to binge-watch The Vampire Diaries on Netflix.
It’s not always easy….in fact, it’s rarely easy, and for me, it’s never accidental. It is something I have to commit to, stick to and always be striving for.
Anyone who follows me knows that my platform and I are big on self-care. For me, self-care comes in many different forms. It can come in the form of time curled up with a good book, a facial, a massage, a bath, meditation, time in the pottery studio, hours in the sensory deprivation tank (no lie…its a real thing), retreat weekends, and as was the case most recently a little ‘body confidence for hire’. Nope…I’m not talking about a personal trainer.
I like to try new things, have new experiences, be in ‘the know’.
Inner beauty and outer beauty. We are always striving for them to match. Again…not always as easy as it looks. Sometimes we get shamed into it being ‘vanity’. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a personal appearance code. We each get to set and celebrate our own standard and own level of comfort for what we are willing to do to achieve that confidence. The reality is sometimes even when you are consistent and do the work you still don’t get the results you desire. The outside doesn’t match the inside. For some of us….when it does, we can shine a little brighter.
I take immaculate care of my skin, probably the thing I spend the most money on. I am no stranger to the salon to color those ever-persistent strands of glitter in my tresses. Those of you who have seen me live know I have one big one up front…I leave that bit of glitter alone. It makes me look ‘trendy’ and like I did it on purpose (Thanks Mother Nature!). Despite the fact that some days no one will even see me in person, I make it a point to dress as if EVERYONE is going to see me today. Those are things that contribute to my personal appearance code.
I even had something done about my frustration with the fact that when I wave…my arms wave back at me. Ladies (and maybe some Gents) you know you know what I am talking about!
I had some Coolsculpting. If you don’t know about it, You can get up close and personal with me here and see for yourself. The Balance Maven teamed up Tarah Taylor and Colorado Laser Spa for a little body confidence for hire. We did a video, because like I promised…we are keeping it real. I believe there is no shame in buying a little body confidence, especially when you can get it non surgically with zero invasion.
Body confidence and confidence, in general, mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Much like when I talk about work-life balance, this is purely individual.
You have to do you and do it unapologetically.
For me, it is NOT about keeping up with the Jones’ or comparison or some sort of personal body shame. Though this can be very true for some…no judgment. We get it. I didn’t choose it because there is something wrong with my size. Beauty comes in all sizes. I truly believe that. It IS about me keeping up with me and what makes me feel good about me. It’s not about me being resistant to the natural process of aging and failing to ‘grow old gracefully’. Though, I will say, “Screw that!” I’m not owning ‘old’ ever, gracefully or not…I don’t care what the number says. I choose to never have an ‘old’ mindset. BONUS,if there is a way I can stave off the forces of gravity while I am at it, I am down with that too…hence the Coolsculpting.
So watch the video here.
We would love to hear how you take care of you and what body confidence means to you.
If you are interested in body confidence for hire you can learn more about Coolsculpting here. Gents, it’s not just for the ladies! This is probably the right moment for me to be clear that I am getting NO commission, perks, or kickbacks from Colorado Laser Spa (other than good feelings, if it gives you permission to do whatever makes you feel good about you). I just know these things don’t get much attention because we can tell ourselves a story of ‘what will people think or say’ and wanted to put it out there, that it doesn’t matter what others think. You do you. Also, in full transparency, I just wanted to help a sister business owner out who has given me some wonderful care over the years and share a little about what she can do as part of this message. It really is a pretty amazing technology, freakishly easy, with almost beyond belief results… permanently. No needles, no knives, no scary stuff.
How do you get body and mind confidence? How are you taking care of you? Tell us your story!
PS…any mean or shaming comments on the video get deleted. You’ve been warned. 🙂
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What would it take to get more from your business?
For some business owners, this is a bit of a conundrum because they are often already feeling overworked and under-rewarded. Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. People often assume that business owners have more freedom than those that are in an employee situation. More often, the truth is, you don’t clock out….EVER. Your business is always on your mind. If you aren’t hustling then business isn’t coming through the door and mouths don’t get fed and roofs aren’t over head, clothes aren’t on backs …you know the story. Perhaps more accurately, ‘the story that we tell”.
Is it true?
How do you know?
What if it doesn’t have to be this way?
What if you could get more out of your business so you could get more out of your life? It’s part strategy and part mindset. You have to have a clear plan of action and a clear belief that it is possible and be willing to tell the story of the outcome you want even if it goes against the grain and is the road less traveled.
What if you had a crystal clear personal vision that was in alignment with your core values and allowed for all your hopes and dreams? Your business is the vehicle by which these hopes and dreams come true. So often we get caught in the rat race of being a human ‘doing’ vs a human ‘being’ that we forget to really live. We get so bound by the work that we fail to enjoy its fruits…or even remember they exist.
I have a personal mission to help business owners get more out of each day in their business. Your day is simply your life in miniature. How do your days look? Are you counting the blessings and the joys of the accomplishments or looking at the to-do list and feeling like you fell short?
With the right systems and structures in your business you can have more freedom, more fun AND more profit. That’s right I used ‘structure and systems’ and ‘FREEDOM’ all in the same sentence. Structure is what will provide you freedom. It is the systems that give you time and energy back so you have freedom to do more. More things that make an impact, more things that bring you joy, more things that give back to the world, more things that get you closer to your personal vision and the lifestyle you want to lead… MORE EVERYTHING!
It is always my sincerest hope that people are doing things they love to earn a living or grow a business around and that you get joy in your work days. The reality is it can’t all be work. Even for those of us who can’t tell the difference between working and playing becasue we love our work so much…we still need time unplugged to recharge and connect with friends and love ones.
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.” —Lawrence Pearsall Jaacks
Everyone should enjoy that which he describes. It is my personal favorite quote.
Most often business owners simply lack the tools to get the most out of their bank of time and energy each day, week, month and year. Check out this FREE tool I created for you to master your time and productivity and harness the power of your business….so you can get more freedom to lead your life by design. If you want to take the implementation deeper, check out the free masterclass that comes with it.
I asked a lot of questions here…ponder them. Share in the comments below. What did you come up with? Where do you need the most support?
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Ever been to Dysfunction Junction?
It’s that place where our dysfunction becomes our function or the new normal.
Do you sometimes feel like chaos has become your daily state of mind…that ‘new normal’ I just mentioned?
Sometimes we tell a story that if we aren’t at full tilt crazy than we are lazy…and our perception of being ‘lazy’ lets the gremlins of Guilt and Judgment and Shame into the car. They fight over who gets to ride shotgun…and sometimes who gets to drive. If you let them, they will have you buckled up in the back seat, or worse tied up in the trunk with a gag.
Somedays it’s easy to wonder who is leading the charge. The circus gets of control, the monkeys are in charge and it has become a three rings shit show of epic proportions.
You are not alone.
More and more people are starting to notice the crazy is at a scary level, and they don’t even know where to start to change it. We have so many stories we tell around it, so many Jones to keep up with and compare ourselves to and not enough hours in the day to get to the bottom of the to do list that seems to get longer vs shorter.
I was there once too. It happens one layer at a time, little by little. You think you have got your arms around it and you are in complete control, until one day…you aren’t. You can’t even find the edges of it to get your arms back around it. The chaos and a life out of balance are controlling you.
There is a path to freedom, but first you have to clue in on what you want it to look like. Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? It is is not as easy as it sounds when life steals your normal. Sometimes you can’t even remember what it looks like anymore or who you used to be when life ran at a slower pace.
I was caught in the trap of life living me. I was miserable. I cried myself to sleep, cried myself to work, the bathroom at lunch, on the way to pick up kids, in the shower…where ever someone wasn’t looking. You see where I am going with all the tears? My health was declining. <Insert high blood sugar, thyroid problems, heartaches, headaches, back pain, weight gain, general anxiousness, crappy skin and hair and general bitchy demeanor here>. The side effects of stress and lack of fulfillment can amputate years from your life and your spirit.
I had to pull myself out of it for the sake of my health and my family. I had to set a better example for what life was about and what I wanted my daughters to emulate. I took steps to live with more freedom, more joy, more time and more purpose….best thing was there some fringe benefits too: better relationships and more money. Money can help with the freedom. Freedom leads to choice. Who doesn’t want some of those side effects?
Check out this tool I created for you here. I have created a 7 step system, The Balance Blueprint, to help you start to dig yourself out and avoid some of the pitfalls that befell me. Its FREE! The path to destruction is overwhelm. When we are overwhelmed we don’t know where to start and when we don’t know where to start we don’t take action. This keeps us stuck. This is your clear plan of action, one step at a time. I even offer you a free masterclass at the end. Check it out here!
You can also and find your Balance IQ. See where your wreck is…do you need the biggest help in your business or at home? There are tools for each! We are here to serve.
Drop your comments below and tell me about your biggest life balance challenge? What have you already tried?
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