Clarity of Desire (part 2 of 4)

In the last installment of this series we talked about the concept of balance and introduced ‘The 3 Clarities’.  If you didn’t get a chance to read those introductions, feel free to click here and have a quick look.  I’ll wait ;). It’s short, and won’t take but a couple minutes and it’s a good way to set the stage for what is covered in this installment.

As promised we are going to unpack what I have dubbed ‘The 3 Clarities’ in more detail.  In this installment, it will be ‘The Clarity of Desire’.

If we do not first have clarity on what we desire, I would argue it’s difficult to recognize and fulfill our purpose.  Without clarity of purpose we can not take the necessary actions to live our full potential.  We will unpack Clarity of Purpose and Clarity of Action in coming installments.

So what makes up Clarity of Desire?

I believe it begins with tuning in to the feeling parts of self and listening quietly, but intently, to how we want to feel.  

  • What feelings feel like the clearest and truest expression of your soul?  
  • What feelings do you most desire to have on a daily basis?  

I have seen with clients that all too often family, culture, society and the expectations and needs of others often dictate how we allow ourselves to be expressed.  It is easy to get into a place where we allow the outside world to dictate the landscape of our inside world.  

Our souls’ truth comes from within.  If we can listen and follow the clues it offers us and create our desired destination from the inside FIRST, we are so much happier on our journey.  As humans, when we are clear on what we desire, we tend to attract the connections and resources that allow that core desire to be manifested and expressed.  We feel more deeply  and are more fulfilled and truly happy.  Happiness is an inside job as they say.  It begins within. The outside world will take its shape accordingly…for better or for worse.  This is another reason why clarity is paramount.

We must first listen in order to build the container for our souls work.

  • How do you feel on a daily basis?
  • Do those feelings match up with what your soul is asking for?
  • Do you even know what your soul is asking for?

To get clear on how we feel we first have to understand what makes us tick and what drives our behaviors and actions ( or lack of action). To do this we have to understand our needs.  If those needs are not being met it is difficult to feel fully expressed…and a real big rub is….we sometimes feel so empty we don’t know how to get them filled.

Tony Robbins would say there are 6 human needs that are nonnegotiable and required for ALL humans to be healthy, happy, and whole. These needs are individual forces that shape our every thought, feeling, behavior and action.  Some people have greater need of one or more of these things than others.

6 human needs per Tony Robbins:
They are in two categories.  The needs of the personality and the needs of the spirit.
You can watch Tony’s Ted Talk on this here

Needs of the personality:

Needs of the Spirit:

Everything is an attempt to meet these needs.  When we are clear on what they are, we can look deeper and ask ourselves:

  • Where are they being met?  
  • Where are they not and how am I currently navigating the world in an attempt to experience them? 

This concept is so important that I explore these things in the first half of a private intensive day with my clients.  We focus on the ‘soul’ side in part 1 and the ‘strategy’ side in part 2.  If you are not clear on where you want to go…any road will get you there.  I would take that one step further and say that: If you are not first clear on where you want to go…any strategy I help you put in place goes nowhere.  We must first build the container for your soul’s work.  Only then can we fill it.  If we try to put action into something that is unclear or unstable it will just take not shape and run all over everywhere without any tangible results.

I know there are a lot more questions here than answers.  Self discovery and understanding our innermost needs and desires is the foundation upon which all other things are built.

We only get to this clarity by asking ourselves deeper questions than we may have asked before.  We then assess the gap between where we are and where we want to be.  

  • What kinds of experiences nurture and fuel the feelings we most want to have?  
  • How do we cultivate an experience where we get more of that?

In my experience, exploring these depths in concert with a trusted mentor facilitates not only deeper clarity and perspective, but also greater depth.  Accompanying this work by surrounding ourselves with a tribe of like-minded expanded thinkers ensures that we not only have a soft place to land when we encounter tough emotions, but also a place to borrow the confidence of others when we can’t find our own.  Once we have that clarity, true connection with our purpose and the actions that will follow allows us to make reaching the destination possible.

When we know how we want to feel and what experiences allow us to feel that way, only then can we engineer goals from a place that allows us to trust and feel the accomplishments as we achieve them. 

  • Have you ever noticed how you can accomplish the goals but you tend to just breeze past it and keep going…never really FEELING the accomplishment?  

So often we set goals from a  place of achievement and ‘doing’ vs what makes us feel fulfilled and from a place of ‘being’.  When we engineer goals from a place of ‘being’ we get outcomes that are aligned with our highest self AND feel amazing when we hit the mark.  That joy and elation and celebration is what pulls us forward to grow further and achieve more.  It is also what allows us to have the internal drive and motivation to accomplish the tasks and take the actions that are required to get the results. It is not willpower that gets things done.  It is having aligned goals that pull you forward vs you having to push and grind to get there.  It is where divine inspiration comes from.  It is where creative juices flow and you can’t wait to get out of bed in the morning to greet the day and be pulled into your future. 

The best part of that is when you do that each day it allows others to do it too.  The rising tide lifts all ships.  The collective energy that is created when we all create goals from a place of soul alignment pulls us all forward.

Do you need support in getting this clarity?   It can be hard to have deep clarity on what we want, but it is often easy to know what we don’t want.  Here is a tool I created to help meet you where you are and explore through contrast.  Get my free Clarity of Contrast Tool.

Got some clarity but need help pulling it all together?  Feel free to book a call to unpack your gap.

Join us in the next installment where we will delve into the Clarity of Purpose and how once we know how we want to feel and are clear on what our soul is asking to be heard we can follow the breadcrumbs to answer our calling through action.

As always we love to hear your thoughts!  Drop us some comments and questions below!

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Need a little intuitive guidance on what might be throwing off your balance?  Click here to visit our oracle deck and get some wisdom in the moment.


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