Pitas vs PITAs

Pitas vs PITAs

We all know about pitas; those delicious fluffy bread pockets that you can stuff with all sorts of yummy things. These heavenly food bits are not to be mistaken with a P.I.T.A.; a cute, though not so tasty acronym for Pain In The Ass.  What am I talking about?  Clients/Customers (though they can be friends or family too)….Pain in the ass clients (or other forces for negativity in our lives).  We have all had them, we will all likely have them again.  The law of averages practically guarantees that the more clients/customers we see the more PITAs we are confronted with. We DO have control over how many and how often AND we can learn from each one that sneaks through our defenses.  Why is a little thing like a PITA client so destructive and why am I making a big deal about it?  I’m so glad you asked!  First let’s talk about how they happen.

Reasons we let them through the gates, even when our better judgment is poking at us:

-scarcity or lack mentality, aka there isn’t enough or what if another one doesn’t come for a while

-fear of missing out, aka what if they really are great underneath all that truth seeping out their face, and what if another one isn’t there to fill the spot

-we tell ourselves bullshit stories, aka “I love a challenge”, “I”m sure they are not like that all the time” (see the last blog post about when people show you who they are), “They can’t be as crazy as my radar is telling me they are”, and  “I can handle it.”

Reasons we should have a highly skilled border patrol for these folks (No, I did NOT say ‘build a wall’):

-PITA’s wear you out…I mean GRIND YOU DOOOWWWN, got nothin’ left for NO body.

-They take up 80% of your best energy and attention and only bring you 20% of your revenues.

-Sometimes they are a negative net and they actually cost you money.

-They are NEVER happy…and they talk shit to their friends about it (there is such a thing as bad publicity despite what some say).

-In a group setting, they can become a cancer for your other clients/customers.

-They take up valuable real estate on your roster that could otherwise be occupied by ‘right fit’ people who could sit at your feet and listen to every word you say with reverence.

-They don’t support your business with referrals or strengthen your circle of influence, in fact, they burn it down from the inside out.  Anyone smell smoke?

-You are constantly chasing them for money.

-They show up late and often miss appointment entirely usually followed by a million excuses or zero acknowledgment or apology. This costs you time and money.

-They walk all over you at the cost your self esteem, confidence and credibility.

If you are offended by my saying any of this…you might be a PITA and I might be serving as a trigger or a mirror for you.  Don’t judge it, just observe it. Notice what you notice. Maybe you were a PITA once but have learned your lesson.  It is always good for us to self-evaluate when engaging with those who provide us mentorship and service.  Do I ever do this to the people or businesses I pay patron to?  Do a little ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself’.  It’s OK to ‘“rock your paradoxes” as Danielle Laporte would say.  “Be strong in your preferences AND be easy to please”.  Being assertive and knowing what you want is not being a PITA.  It IS being empowered and assertive in a respectful way.  Being abusive and lacking in respect, never having anything nice to say, and generally being a life sucking force….that is a PITA.  DON’T BE A PITA.  They don’t get invited to the fun parties.

So how do we avoid them?

-Take a look at your marketing.  Is it attracting and speaking to the right people?  If you are getting a lot of PITAs it doesn’t necessarily mean you are a pleaser and can’t say no.  You may simply be attracting the wrong demographic. It may be time to look at your message and who it speaks to and tweak it, or simply tweak ‘where’ you are being seen with it.

-Manage your mindset.  If you are saying yes to the wrong people ask your self why.  Are you struggling financially and something feels better than nothing?  Need help with this?  Call me…  TODAY!!  Let’s stop that cycle.

-Have strong preferences and a clear vision of what your ideal clients look and feel like.  Use that vision like a navigation system.  It is your compass.

-Exercise your boundaries.  Flex the muscle of saying no…unapologetically and often.  There is a nice way to do it.  I can show you how.

What does a great client feel like?  The unsavory truth is, some business owners don’t know because they, without realizing it. built a business on less than ideal clients and they have all the struggles that come with them to prove it.

Here are a few notes on what great clients have meant to me:

-They make you feel like you are a gift to this world…and it makes you blush.

-They tell you often and without hesitation how much impact you have had on their lives.

-They tell all the people they know.  They shout it from the rooftops and are your ‘ride or die’ fans.

-You feel confident and valued.

-They pay you…on time, what you are worth and without complaint.

-They take action toward what you talk about and they get results.

-They are always looking for ways to improve and play a bigger game so they can give bigger to this world…and they know they need your help to do it.

Damn!…dont those people feel good?!

I am so blessed to say I currently do not have a single PITA on my roster and I have a few platforms in my business that I serve under which based on the law of averages, increases my odds of having one (knock on wood I stay in ‘practicing what I teach LOL).  I really have THE VERY BEST clients and feel honored and privileged every day to serve them.

So if I have such great clients why am I talking about PITAs?  I didn’t always have great clients and many of my clients didn’t start out with the best clients either.  They had a pile of headaches, both literally and figuratively, they lost sleep and stomach lining, some were eating Xanax like Pez (not judging), and facing burnout.  Work wasn’t fun and life outside of work was on a fast decline.  Together we turned it around! Better balance= bigger and better and more badass fulfillment.

Want a seat next to this elite group of people, drop me a note, or grab a spot on my calendar. CLICK THE LINK HERE

In the meantime, drop me a comment below and tell me your best PITA story?  How did you get out of it (maybe you are still in it)?  Have you learned your lesson? What strategies do you employ to keep your roster squeaky clean?  Got anything to add above lists? Can I fit another question in here? Gimme the dish!

If you need help in your business cleaning up your roster…might be clients, might be vendors. eek…it might be people who sit next to you at holiday dinner and send you birthday cards in the mail.  I can help!

Grab a seat here

P.S. All this talk about pitas and you KNOW one of you is going to be making a run to the grocery store today.  #pitasfordinner 😉

P.P.S. I know I said the next one would be shorter…my bad. #loquacious  Google that one.  It can be your $5 word of the day

When people show you who they are…BELIEVE THEM

When people show you who they are…BELIEVE THEM

OK…so it has been crazy quiet around here…I know…I know. I could offer all the reasons (excuses) but I will spare us all and not digress. What I will focus on is the fact that I am here and I am back on the soap box with plans to be a regular because everyone that knows me knows I am not a woman of few words.  There is always something to talk about or express right?! Since it’s my first in awhile please indulge me on the length and stay with me to the end!  I’ll strive to keep it shorter next time.

So here is what is on my mind this week.  When people show you who they are…believe them.  Read that again.  Not ‘tell’ you….SHOW you.  This is a concept I am not unfamiliar with and yet I can still be caught off guard or surprised by it.  Sometimes even after a year plus of repetition!!  What do I mean by this? How many times have you had an experience where you can look back and see a pattern in how someone acts vs talks? I can almost always in hindsight see that someone has repeatedly shown me who they truly are and what they really value despite telling me something different. My most recent experiences have been in cases where people talk about who they are and say what is important to them in their business, (don’t we all do this in some form or another?) but behind the curtain, they don’t live it. In fact, there have been times where I watch it in STARK contrast. This has come in the form of how they treat their teams, or service people, their family, talk about their clients or competitors etc.

I have discovered in my years on this planet there are some things (OK, a lot of things) that are specifically important to me come hell or high water.  A couple of them are authenticity and honesty.  It’s kind of simple: Be who you say you are, do what you say you are going to do and tell the truth, not a ‘version’ of the truth or a ‘spin’ and own your shit when you screw something up or drop the ball (personal responsibility is part of truth telling).  In the coaching world these things sometimes seem a bit tricky. I know that sounds totally stupid.  How is authenticity and honesty, for example, ’tricky’? Pretty cut and dried right?! Here is what I mean. I am finding that the more you have to talk about how honest and authentic you are…the less you might really be ‘behind the curtain’ or ‘off the stage’.  If we are authentic, do we have to talk about it all the time? Does it have to appear in every bit of our marketing and do we have to use those specific words every time we take the stage or promote ourselves?  Or do we SHOW it? I am all for marketing and talking about what you do and who you help and HOW you do it.  It is a vital part of a business, and what I am referring to is talking about our values, vs living and demonstrating them.  Live your truth whatever it is.  Own it like a boss.  If you don’t like what is behind the curtain, don’t pretend and fake it and only talk it…walk it and change it.  We are all human.  It is not always neat and tidy back there.  Sometimes life gets messy.  Who hasn’t shoved some shit in a closet or under a bed when unexpected company is coming? I think the key is in how you show up on a consistent basis.

I believe this matters in all aspects of our life, but for a moment, let’s talk about how it relates to business.  How you do anything, is how you do everything. Especially when we are in personal growth and development or business growth and development, who you say you are and how you show up determines your success and longevity in the industry.  What does your business stand for?  What are your values as a company?  How do you like to serve your patrons? What do you want to be said about you in your absence?  I find these things are often aligned with our personal values and moral code….and that is where authenticity comes from in business.  Personal and business codes of ethics and values must be aligned…and demonstrated through action.

How many of you have taken the time to put down on paper your personal vision: what you stand for, how you want to live, who you want to be?  What about your business vision?  Do you see a pattern or parallel between the two?

I recently had this beautiful book made for myself.  You can catch the pictures on Facebook attached to a link to this post on my biz page if you want to see, www.facebook.com/thebalancemaven.  We have all heard about vision boards.  I love them!  I have decided to craft a ‘vision book’ where I will park all my aspirations and things that reflect my life by design.  My hope is that anyone could pick this up and feel like they have a grasp on who I am, what I stand for, and how I choose to live; full of my soul, spirit, and truth.  It will also be a heartfelt representation of my business and how I show up in the world …because what you see is what you get.  I hope for it to be a legacy item, and something that my daughters enjoy spending time with because it is so,…well,  ‘me’.  I secretly (now not so secretly) hope they fight over it when I’m gone and it gets put in ‘timeshare’ where they take turns on who gets to host it. 🙂  Want to do this with me?  Make your own vision book? We could do a free live masterclass online and I can walk you through my process!  I will even share my custom, old school, bookmaker so you can have your own gorgeous, handcrafted book made if you want. Let me know in comments below!

In short….here’s the point of it all. Show the world who you are.  Lead with your actions and your presence, and when you choose to lead with words make sure they consistently match your actions inside and out.  I strive to always do my best at ‘what you see is what you get’  I am far from perfect folks…but my hope is people will always be able to say that I lead by example and that I carry myself with a universal truth on stage and off,  both with clients and with my friends and family.

How do you show up on and off the stage (literal or figurative)?  Is there a difference?   Do your core values come through? I would love to hear your thoughts in comments.  Tell me what this brings up for you or about experiences you have had!

Want to talk about how to craft a business that serves from your place of truth and aligns with your personal values? Click here and drop me a note!