So today I am going to get ‘personal’ which equates to vulnerable. Vulnerability is something I am always working on. Demonstrate it, show it, be it. It is a spectrum of mastery. I am nowhere near the ‘mastery’ state. As business owners, we struggle with a host of different confidence levels in a host of different areas in which we work and play. How you feel about yourself and how you take care of yourself have an enormous impact on how you show up in your business and the amount of visibility you will demonstrate with your chosen tribe of people you wish to serve.
I choose to serve busyaholic entrepreneurs. Why? Because I have been one and understand the struggle. I have been ‘one of my people’ and sometimes I still AM one of my people with regard to the struggle. I like to ‘push the envelope’ as they say. It is harder than it looks to find balance in all things, especially when you LOOOOVE to work. I LOVE what I do so much. In fact, sometimes I can’t tell the difference between working and playing.
Alas, sometimes I am a walking paradox….
I know that life rules say you need 8 hours of sleep a night. Say what?! That can cut into my productivity time.
I am intentional about not treating my body like a trash can…and sometimes I eat 4 cupcakes from The Cupcakery in a sitting.
I am aware of the level of exercise my body likes to have and sometimes, instead of exercise, I choose to binge-watch The Vampire Diaries on Netflix.
It’s not always easy….in fact, it’s rarely easy, and for me, it’s never accidental. It is something I have to commit to, stick to and always be striving for.
Anyone who follows me knows that my platform and I are big on self-care. For me, self-care comes in many different forms. It can come in the form of time curled up with a good book, a facial, a massage, a bath, meditation, time in the pottery studio, hours in the sensory deprivation tank (no lie…its a real thing), retreat weekends, and as was the case most recently a little ‘body confidence for hire’. Nope…I’m not talking about a personal trainer.
I like to try new things, have new experiences, be in ‘the know’.
Inner beauty and outer beauty. We are always striving for them to match. Again…not always as easy as it looks. Sometimes we get shamed into it being ‘vanity’. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a personal appearance code. We each get to set and celebrate our own standard and own level of comfort for what we are willing to do to achieve that confidence. The reality is sometimes even when you are consistent and do the work you still don’t get the results you desire. The outside doesn’t match the inside. For some of us….when it does, we can shine a little brighter.
I take immaculate care of my skin, probably the thing I spend the most money on. I am no stranger to the salon to color those ever-persistent strands of glitter in my tresses. Those of you who have seen me live know I have one big one up front…I leave that bit of glitter alone. It makes me look ‘trendy’ and like I did it on purpose (Thanks Mother Nature!). Despite the fact that some days no one will even see me in person, I make it a point to dress as if EVERYONE is going to see me today. Those are things that contribute to my personal appearance code.
I even had something done about my frustration with the fact that when I wave…my arms wave back at me. Ladies (and maybe some Gents) you know you know what I am talking about!
I had some Coolsculpting. If you don’t know about it, You can get up close and personal with me here and see for yourself. The Balance Maven teamed up Tarah Taylor and Colorado Laser Spa for a little body confidence for hire. We did a video, because like I promised…we are keeping it real. I believe there is no shame in buying a little body confidence, especially when you can get it non surgically with zero invasion.
Body confidence and confidence, in general, mean a lot of different things to a lot of different people. Much like when I talk about work-life balance, this is purely individual.
You have to do you and do it unapologetically.
For me, it is NOT about keeping up with the Jones’ or comparison or some sort of personal body shame. Though this can be very true for some…no judgment. We get it. I didn’t choose it because there is something wrong with my size. Beauty comes in all sizes. I truly believe that. It IS about me keeping up with me and what makes me feel good about me. It’s not about me being resistant to the natural process of aging and failing to ‘grow old gracefully’. Though, I will say, “Screw that!” I’m not owning ‘old’ ever, gracefully or not…I don’t care what the number says. I choose to never have an ‘old’ mindset. BONUS,if there is a way I can stave off the forces of gravity while I am at it, I am down with that too…hence the Coolsculpting.
So watch the video here.
We would love to hear how you take care of you and what body confidence means to you.
If you are interested in body confidence for hire you can learn more about Coolsculpting here. Gents, it’s not just for the ladies! This is probably the right moment for me to be clear that I am getting NO commission, perks, or kickbacks from Colorado Laser Spa (other than good feelings, if it gives you permission to do whatever makes you feel good about you). I just know these things don’t get much attention because we can tell ourselves a story of ‘what will people think or say’ and wanted to put it out there, that it doesn’t matter what others think. You do you. Also, in full transparency, I just wanted to help a sister business owner out who has given me some wonderful care over the years and share a little about what she can do as part of this message. It really is a pretty amazing technology, freakishly easy, with almost beyond belief results… permanently. No needles, no knives, no scary stuff.
How do you get body and mind confidence? How are you taking care of you? Tell us your story!
PS…any mean or shaming comments on the video get deleted. You’ve been warned. 🙂
Enjoyed reading this post? Please share the love:
What would it take to get more from your business?
For some business owners, this is a bit of a conundrum because they are often already feeling overworked and under-rewarded. Being an entrepreneur is not for the faint of heart. People often assume that business owners have more freedom than those that are in an employee situation. More often, the truth is, you don’t clock out….EVER. Your business is always on your mind. If you aren’t hustling then business isn’t coming through the door and mouths don’t get fed and roofs aren’t over head, clothes aren’t on backs …you know the story. Perhaps more accurately, ‘the story that we tell”.
Is it true?
How do you know?
What if it doesn’t have to be this way?
What if you could get more out of your business so you could get more out of your life? It’s part strategy and part mindset. You have to have a clear plan of action and a clear belief that it is possible and be willing to tell the story of the outcome you want even if it goes against the grain and is the road less traveled.
What if you had a crystal clear personal vision that was in alignment with your core values and allowed for all your hopes and dreams? Your business is the vehicle by which these hopes and dreams come true. So often we get caught in the rat race of being a human ‘doing’ vs a human ‘being’ that we forget to really live. We get so bound by the work that we fail to enjoy its fruits…or even remember they exist.
I have a personal mission to help business owners get more out of each day in their business. Your day is simply your life in miniature. How do your days look? Are you counting the blessings and the joys of the accomplishments or looking at the to-do list and feeling like you fell short?
With the right systems and structures in your business you can have more freedom, more fun AND more profit. That’s right I used ‘structure and systems’ and ‘FREEDOM’ all in the same sentence. Structure is what will provide you freedom. It is the systems that give you time and energy back so you have freedom to do more. More things that make an impact, more things that bring you joy, more things that give back to the world, more things that get you closer to your personal vision and the lifestyle you want to lead… MORE EVERYTHING!
It is always my sincerest hope that people are doing things they love to earn a living or grow a business around and that you get joy in your work days. The reality is it can’t all be work. Even for those of us who can’t tell the difference between working and playing becasue we love our work so much…we still need time unplugged to recharge and connect with friends and love ones.
“A master in the art of living draws no sharp distinction between his work and his play; his labor and his leisure; his mind and his body; his education and his recreation. He hardly knows which is which. He simply pursues his vision of excellence through whatever he is doing, and leaves others to determine whether he is working or playing. To himself, he always appears to be doing both.” —Lawrence Pearsall Jaacks
Everyone should enjoy that which he describes. It is my personal favorite quote.
Most often business owners simply lack the tools to get the most out of their bank of time and energy each day, week, month and year. Check out this FREE tool I created for you to master your time and productivity and harness the power of your business….so you can get more freedom to lead your life by design. If you want to take the implementation deeper, check out the free masterclass that comes with it.
I asked a lot of questions here…ponder them. Share in the comments below. What did you come up with? Where do you need the most support?
Enjoyed reading this post? Please share the love:
Ever been to Dysfunction Junction?
It’s that place where our dysfunction becomes our function or the new normal.
Do you sometimes feel like chaos has become your daily state of mind…that ‘new normal’ I just mentioned?
Sometimes we tell a story that if we aren’t at full tilt crazy than we are lazy…and our perception of being ‘lazy’ lets the gremlins of Guilt and Judgment and Shame into the car. They fight over who gets to ride shotgun…and sometimes who gets to drive. If you let them, they will have you buckled up in the back seat, or worse tied up in the trunk with a gag.
Somedays it’s easy to wonder who is leading the charge. The circus gets of control, the monkeys are in charge and it has become a three rings shit show of epic proportions.
You are not alone.
More and more people are starting to notice the crazy is at a scary level, and they don’t even know where to start to change it. We have so many stories we tell around it, so many Jones to keep up with and compare ourselves to and not enough hours in the day to get to the bottom of the to do list that seems to get longer vs shorter.
I was there once too. It happens one layer at a time, little by little. You think you have got your arms around it and you are in complete control, until one day…you aren’t. You can’t even find the edges of it to get your arms back around it. The chaos and a life out of balance are controlling you.
There is a path to freedom, but first you have to clue in on what you want it to look like. Who do you want to be? How do you want to live? It is is not as easy as it sounds when life steals your normal. Sometimes you can’t even remember what it looks like anymore or who you used to be when life ran at a slower pace.
I was caught in the trap of life living me. I was miserable. I cried myself to sleep, cried myself to work, the bathroom at lunch, on the way to pick up kids, in the shower…where ever someone wasn’t looking. You see where I am going with all the tears? My health was declining. <Insert high blood sugar, thyroid problems, heartaches, headaches, back pain, weight gain, general anxiousness, crappy skin and hair and general bitchy demeanor here>. The side effects of stress and lack of fulfillment can amputate years from your life and your spirit.
I had to pull myself out of it for the sake of my health and my family. I had to set a better example for what life was about and what I wanted my daughters to emulate. I took steps to live with more freedom, more joy, more time and more purpose….best thing was there some fringe benefits too: better relationships and more money. Money can help with the freedom. Freedom leads to choice. Who doesn’t want some of those side effects?
Check out this tool I created for you here. I have created a 7 step system, The Balance Blueprint, to help you start to dig yourself out and avoid some of the pitfalls that befell me. Its FREE! The path to destruction is overwhelm. When we are overwhelmed we don’t know where to start and when we don’t know where to start we don’t take action. This keeps us stuck. This is your clear plan of action, one step at a time. I even offer you a free masterclass at the end. Check it out here!
You can also and find your Balance IQ. See where your wreck is…do you need the biggest help in your business or at home? There are tools for each! We are here to serve.
Drop your comments below and tell me about your biggest life balance challenge? What have you already tried?
Enjoyed reading this post? Please share the love:
Let’s talk about that other 4 letter S word….SELL!
People hear the word ‘SELL’ and they think sleazy, skeevy, used cars, cheesy smile, slicked backed hair…’Boy, have I got a deal for you!’… and now I need to go take a shower.
We get so conditioned to not ever want to be ‘ that guy’ (or gal) or ‘sell anyone something that we shy away from it in our own businesses.
Some of you know me in the business and lifestyle coaching capacity, others of you don’t know me at all. Either way, most clients don’t realize that I have an entire sales platform of my business where I teach people how to sell authentically and in a very client-centered way and that I build, manage, and serve on sales teams in the corporate setting (by word of mouth only). My point in telling you this is, I understand the stigma as I have been on all sides of the sales experience.
I recall a time when my mom asked me what I did for a corporate client once and I told her, I was in sales and was building a team to do outbound calling to their leads for an international coaching company and she said, “Oh Gaaawd, I hang up on you people all the time.” YUP….’you people’. No one wants to be ‘those’ people. We have all had that experience right!?, where you hung up on the telesales person?
Why? because it sucks when people try to sell you something that you don’t want or think you need…or have ever even heard of and do it in a pushy, won’t take no for an answer, you can’t get off your own phone kind of way.
However, People LOVE to be sold to when they are getting something they want and its done in a way where it elevates them and helps them reach the goal. We become ‘those people’ when we are solely objective focused, numbers based, and monetarily driven without regard for the journey we are taking people on. People don’t want to be taken for a ‘ride’.
I like to leverage the Platinum Rule vs Golden Rule here. We are all familiar with the Golden Rule right? “Treat others the way you want to be treated.” Well, if you are afraid of sales and you hate to be sold to or like its some sort of violation, and you don’t know what it feels like to experience it as a collaborative, done for and with you not TO you process, ….you won’t do it, in any capacity.
Let’s talk about the Platinum Rule: “Treat others the way they want to be treated”
Get out of your own way and give them what THEY want, how they want it. They want to be heard. They want to be understood, and they WANT to be served! They even want to be sold to if they can see and feel the value. They want permission to say yes to themselves from an outside source, and they will take that permission to heart if it feels like you are in it with and for them…not for you. Much like you, HOW they want that may differ. Put yourself in the shoes of the potential client/customer. This is true for everything from widgets to high end services. Seek first to understand… #platinumrule. Treat them how they want to be treated. Support them based on how they are wired and make them feel supported and you have a ‘lifer’. This is how ‘Ride or Die’ fans are born. Really listen for what is not being said, build a relationship…not just seeing the end result of winning a contract.
People break contracts, but they don’t break relationships.
Make sure when you are ‘selling’ the receiver is receiving not resisting. Are they being served? Do we truly have their best interests at heart? Can we say with integrity that we have enough trust that the people who are meant to work with us will and that coercive tactics simply for the sake of numbers have no place in our code of conduct?
I can often be heard telling my sales clients, “There are people who can get you higher numbers and higher conversions. If the numbers are your singular focus and highest priority and what is most important to you, I am not your gal.” With that exclusive priority comes higher attrition, increased payment chasing, and more customer complaints because we sacrificed ‘right fit’ clients for the sake of the numbers….for the sake of ‘THE SALE’. Let’s also not discount you have a higher percentage of people it sucks to serve (see the last blog post about PITAs). In the end you don’t win and just as importantly neither do they. I like to play the ‘long game’ I build relationships not contracts, this translates to higher retentions, greater client experience, and satisfaction leading to better client results, more referrals, and a bigger joy to serve because we have less PITA’s ( yup…you really gotta read that last post on the soapbox)…OH and more money! YEEEESSS! I still care about you making more money! You don’t have to ride the numbers so hard with this approach because you have less ‘churn’ to compensate for. A fringe bonus: you build a tribe of amazing people who are like-minded and collaborative not competitive. They make the world a happier place and love to pay you what you are worth.
It can take a big mindset shift to be successful at sales, it requires confidence in your process and in the experience you create for those you want to serve and for yourself. You have to treat it like a collaborative experience. It is, in fact, the prelude to the dance you will do when you work together. Show them now who you are and how they will be treated. That depth of authenticity and heart do not go unnoticed.
Brian Tracy said, “The definition of a sale is a transfer of enthusiasm.”
This concept is independent of the skill sets so many organizations and leaders spend time and money to train on. How do you show up to the conversion conversation? It matters! Be a passionate leader, take a fierce and loving stand for their possibility. Don’t fall prey to the fear of sounding ‘salesey’, or being pushy and then let go of their hand when the objections start to fly. It’s when they need you most. Lovingly stay with them, lead them through the dark and help them get through their fears. You can only show up as your best self if you feel great about the process and don’t associate any part of the experience with something that requires slick hair and a creepy smile with a cheesy hand gesture.
You have to master the sale to be successful in business. Livelihood and sustainability depend on conversion conversations. What parts of this process do you love and hate? Do you have a process? Where are your biggest stumbling blocks?
Would you like to come to an ‘’ask me anything about sales’ open office hours style call? Let me know in the comments and I will let you know when the next one is being hosted.
Without the sale, you don’t get clients/customers.
Need a script that feels authentic to your voice and allows you to stand in your truth with confidence? Grab a spot on the calendar here and let’s see how I can help you define your sales process if you don’t currently have one, or refine what you do have so you get more conversions.
Save your seat here
Enjoyed reading this post? Please share the love:
We all know about pitas; those delicious fluffy bread pockets that you can stuff with all sorts of yummy things. These heavenly food bits are not to be mistaken with a P.I.T.A.; a cute, though not so tasty acronym for Pain In The Ass. What am I talking about? Clients/Customers (though they can be friends or family too)….Pain in the ass clients (or other forces for negativity in our lives). We have all had them, we will all likely have them again. The law of averages practically guarantees that the more clients/customers we see the more PITAs we are confronted with. We DO have control over how many and how often AND we can learn from each one that sneaks through our defenses. Why is a little thing like a PITA client so destructive and why am I making a big deal about it? I’m so glad you asked! First let’s talk about how they happen.
Reasons we let them through the gates, even when our better judgment is poking at us:
-scarcity or lack mentality, aka there isn’t enough or what if another one doesn’t come for a while
-fear of missing out, aka what if they really are great underneath all that truth seeping out their face, and what if another one isn’t there to fill the spot
-we tell ourselves bullshit stories, aka “I love a challenge”, “I”m sure they are not like that all the time” (see the last blog post about when people show you who they are), “They can’t be as crazy as my radar is telling me they are”, and “I can handle it.”
Reasons we should have a highly skilled border patrol for these folks (No, I did NOT say ‘build a wall’):
-PITA’s wear you out…I mean GRIND YOU DOOOWWWN, got nothin’ left for NO body.
-They take up 80% of your best energy and attention and only bring you 20% of your revenues.
-Sometimes they are a negative net and they actually cost you money.
-They are NEVER happy…and they talk shit to their friends about it (there is such a thing as bad publicity despite what some say).
-In a group setting, they can become a cancer for your other clients/customers.
-They take up valuable real estate on your roster that could otherwise be occupied by ‘right fit’ people who could sit at your feet and listen to every word you say with reverence.
-They don’t support your business with referrals or strengthen your circle of influence, in fact, they burn it down from the inside out. Anyone smell smoke?
-You are constantly chasing them for money.
-They show up late and often miss appointment entirely usually followed by a million excuses or zero acknowledgment or apology. This costs you time and money.
-They walk all over you at the cost your self esteem, confidence and credibility.
If you are offended by my saying any of this…you might be a PITA and I might be serving as a trigger or a mirror for you. Don’t judge it, just observe it. Notice what you notice. Maybe you were a PITA once but have learned your lesson. It is always good for us to self-evaluate when engaging with those who provide us mentorship and service. Do I ever do this to the people or businesses I pay patron to? Do a little ‘check yourself before you wreck yourself’. It’s OK to ‘“rock your paradoxes” as Danielle Laporte would say. “Be strong in your preferences AND be easy to please”. Being assertive and knowing what you want is not being a PITA. It IS being empowered and assertive in a respectful way. Being abusive and lacking in respect, never having anything nice to say, and generally being a life sucking force….that is a PITA. DON’T BE A PITA. They don’t get invited to the fun parties.
So how do we avoid them?
-Take a look at your marketing. Is it attracting and speaking to the right people? If you are getting a lot of PITAs it doesn’t necessarily mean you are a pleaser and can’t say no. You may simply be attracting the wrong demographic. It may be time to look at your message and who it speaks to and tweak it, or simply tweak ‘where’ you are being seen with it.
-Manage your mindset. If you are saying yes to the wrong people ask your self why. Are you struggling financially and something feels better than nothing? Need help with this? Call me… TODAY!! Let’s stop that cycle.
-Have strong preferences and a clear vision of what your ideal clients look and feel like. Use that vision like a navigation system. It is your compass.
-Exercise your boundaries. Flex the muscle of saying no…unapologetically and often. There is a nice way to do it. I can show you how.
What does a great client feel like? The unsavory truth is, some business owners don’t know because they, without realizing it. built a business on less than ideal clients and they have all the struggles that come with them to prove it.
Here are a few notes on what great clients have meant to me:
-They make you feel like you are a gift to this world…and it makes you blush.
-They tell you often and without hesitation how much impact you have had on their lives.
-They tell all the people they know. They shout it from the rooftops and are your ‘ride or die’ fans.
-You feel confident and valued.
-They pay you…on time, what you are worth and without complaint.
-They take action toward what you talk about and they get results.
-They are always looking for ways to improve and play a bigger game so they can give bigger to this world…and they know they need your help to do it.
Damn!…dont those people feel good?!
I am so blessed to say I currently do not have a single PITA on my roster and I have a few platforms in my business that I serve under which based on the law of averages, increases my odds of having one (knock on wood I stay in ‘practicing what I teach LOL). I really have THE VERY BEST clients and feel honored and privileged every day to serve them.
So if I have such great clients why am I talking about PITAs? I didn’t always have great clients and many of my clients didn’t start out with the best clients either. They had a pile of headaches, both literally and figuratively, they lost sleep and stomach lining, some were eating Xanax like Pez (not judging), and facing burnout. Work wasn’t fun and life outside of work was on a fast decline. Together we turned it around! Better balance= bigger and better and more badass fulfillment.
Want a seat next to this elite group of people, drop me a note, or grab a spot on my calendar. CLICK THE LINK HERE
In the meantime, drop me a comment below and tell me your best PITA story? How did you get out of it (maybe you are still in it)? Have you learned your lesson? What strategies do you employ to keep your roster squeaky clean? Got anything to add above lists? Can I fit another question in here? Gimme the dish!
If you need help in your business cleaning up your roster…might be clients, might be vendors. eek…it might be people who sit next to you at holiday dinner and send you birthday cards in the mail. I can help!
Grab a seat here
P.S. All this talk about pitas and you KNOW one of you is going to be making a run to the grocery store today. #pitasfordinner 😉
P.P.S. I know I said the next one would be shorter…my bad. #loquacious Google that one. It can be your $5 word of the day
Enjoyed reading this post? Please share the love: